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Mengikut Hukum Syarak Atau Hukum Adat?

Sebagai orang Islam, kita tahu masing2, perlu menigkut hokum syarak yang telah ditetapkan.

Di sini ingin disampikan satu perbincangan.

Bertunang: Antara Adat dan Syarak

oleh: Ustaz Muhammad Rashidi Bin Haji Wahab*

TAKRIF PERTUNANGAN

Ulama dari mazhab Maliki (Hatab):
Pertunangan adalah satu ungkapan untuk menyeru kepada pernikahan dan apa-apa yang berlaku dari perbualan.

Ulama dari mazhab Shafie (Umairah):
Pertunangan adalah menyentuh (mengemukakan) pernikahan daripada orang yang diambil kira dengannya.

Daripada takrif pertunangan di atas dapatlah kita ketahui bahawa pertunangan ini adalah semata-mata satu perjanjian di antara dua pihak (pihak lelaki dan pihak perempuan) untuk melangsungkan perkahwinan. Pertunangan bukanlah satu akad seperti pernikahan dan memutuskan pertunangan dengan sebab-sebab tertentu bukanlah suatu kesalahan.

PERTUNANGAN DI SISI SYARAK

Terbahagi kepada lima cara:
- Lelaki memberitahu hajatnya untuk meminang kepada seorang perempuan secara langsung.
- Lelaki memberitahu hajatnya untuk meminang kepada wali perempuan.
- Menggunakan pihak ketiga untuk meminang.
- Wali menawarkan anak perempuannya kepada seorang lelaki soleh.
- Perempuan menawarkan dirinya sendiri kepada seorang lelaki soleh.

Sekiranya kedua-dua pihak telah bersetuju dan menerima (menggunakan salah satu cara di atas) maka ini adalah sudah dikira bertunang di sisi syarak.


PERTUNANGAN DI SISI ADAT

Kebiasaannya pihak lelaki akan memberikan barang-barang hantaran ke rumah pihak perempuan pada majlis pertunangan yang telah ditetapkan. Kemudian perempuan akan disarungkan cincin di jari manisnya sebagai tanda sudah bertunang. Maka pihak perempuan akan menetapkan dan membincangkan hantaran untuk perkahwinan berdasarkan status seseorang perempuan itu. Dan diakhiri dengan bacaan doa dan sedikit jamuan ringan. Majlis pertunangan ini diadakan selepas kedua-dua pihak bersetuju untuk bertunang selepas adat merisik.

Pemberian cincin semasa pertunangan adalah suatu adat yang diamalkan di Malaysia (mungkin diambil dari warisan orang bukan Islam) dan ia bukanlah satu syariat yang telah ditetapkan oleh Islam. Namun ia tidaklah menjadi satu kesalahan sekiranya pemberian cincin itu diberikan sekadar tanda pertunangan selagimana tidak menyalahi syariat. Perlu diketahui bahawa menganggap perbuatan menanggalkan cincin sebagai tanda pertunangan diputuskan maka ia adalah bercanggah dengan Islam.

Copyright from: http://www.iluvislam.com/v1/readarticle.php?article_id=967

Jatuhnya hukum tunang.

Percaya atau tidak, kita boleh ber”tunang” tanpa sedar?? Yup, kita boleh bertunang tanpa kita sedar, bila seorang lelaki, berhasrat untuk mengambil seorang perempuan untuk dijadikan isteri. Eh, itu memang normal bukan? Tapi, yang anda mungkin x tahu, anda sebenarnya sudah bertunang bila situasi seperti berikut berlaku:

Lelaki menyatakan hasrat ingin menjadikan perempuan itu isterinya, dan perempuan itu bersetuju. Adakah dikira telah bertunang? Padahal tidak ada ibu bapa perempuan tersebut.

Pinang dari segi hukum fiqah, bererti pihak lelaki menyatakan hasrat berkahwin pada pihak perempuan. Itu dipanggil pinang. Bila perempuan menjawab setuju, maka jadilah perempuan itu tunang laki tersebut.

Situasi yang dianggap pinangan:

"Aku nak jadikan kamu sebagai isteriku."
"Kahwinlah dengan kita bila2."


Bila si perempuan bersetuju, dia akan jadi tunang. Sama ada bercakap dalam telefon, tetap dah jadi tunang.

Contoh:

lelaki sebut dalam telefon, "I nak jadikan u isteri I lah"

Perempuan tersebut jawab, I sukalah, I setujulah, oraitt I’m fine, oklah, I redha atau apa2 yang menunjukkan dia suka dengan “pinangan” lelaki tersebut, maka ia sudah dianggap bertunang.

Jadi, bila dia dah jadi tunang orang tanpa sedar, bila ada lelaki yang meminang, hukumnya haram.

Kita orang melayu time nak tunang duk bawak rombongan 1 bas, bawak barang2 pinangan, itu sebenarnya adalah ADAT bukan dari segi hukum Islam. Dari segi hukum Islam, dah jatuh hukum tunang.

Persoalan ialah bila Ibu bapa tak ada. Mengikut hukum syarak, kalau perempuan itu sudah diizin pada syarak. Sebagai contoh, perempuan yang cerdik, yang baligh, yang blh berfikir, etc dia sudah dianggap bertunang.

Bila perempuan tu x menepati hukum syarak tersebut, contoh seperti x baligh lagi(baru darjah 3 mungkin), perempuan tu bodoh(x boleh berfikir), gila, dan sebagainya, makanya wali diperlukan untuk jawab “pinangan” tersebut.

Copyright from: http://sitiramizahkhairunnisaradzi.blogspot.com/2010/11/jatuhnya-hukum-tunang.html

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i just don't want all this to be over.

Let me be your hero

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh oh please tell me these
Now would you die for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight?

I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

Would you swear that you'll always be mine?
Would you lie would you run away
Am I in to deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care you're here tonight

I just want to hold you
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
Well I don't care you're here tonight

You can take my breath my breath away
I can be your hero






is this the end?no,i never wish it to be happen.I'm dreaming.I've been dreaming all the time,that she wants to leave me.that she had enough with me.that she'll never wants me again.I'm sure i dream a lot...

she try to leave me,again...what I've done wrong?all i sent is..."i want to take care mum and you. both are mum,my mum,and my future child's mum.."

what have i done wrong with those words? i can't see it through...

all i want to say,is that,she's important to me.very very very important to me...

why she wants to leave me??? :'(

please don't go,love.

please don't go...

I need you very much here...:'(

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letter to you,love.

dear love,

I am sorry for letting you down always.(hug you).I am regret for hurting you so much.(hug you more tightly).

I realized I made my biggest mistake.And I am full of regrets now.For everything single tiny mistake i've made,hurts you so deep,so bad.I am sorry to tell you,that i do everything,is not to lost you.I do everything I could,to understand you more deeply,so that I am the one fits in your life.

I do without realize it,hurt u...

the incident,the talk we had,though Im really frustrated that you hang up my call.I just want to explain evrything so that I could fix our love into better life,better love,for us to cherish evrything we had untill this very seconds.

Im totally mad at you for that incident,you could just tell me like that,and the rest,its up to me to accept your explanation.isn't it?I too found out myself,but,I keep telling myself,that you maybe have your very own reason why you dint tell me. As for me,I really do have reason why I dint tell you at the time.I wish you could open your heart and let me in,whisper to your heart.

You help your neighbour,making kueh. you faint that day,don't you know i worry so much? every time you have your free time,you came look for me,which i keep playing my phone,wait for your text.I really do.once you're in,how can i directly tell you?all i ever think is,is to entertain you,i want to see your smile,i want to make you happy. I don't want to greet you with by story you the chatting between me and your friend. I was totally forget it when you're in,all i think,is want to manje with you,besides that thought,I really dint think about else thing. this was my reason for why i dint tell you at the moment. (i wish you could wait for me to tell,because i was about to tell you)

but thing getting worse when we talk,and i split the wrong dead things. I was totally insane of it,I do regret and hate myself for that. I was mad at that time,I split that out just for preference of our current situation. really do no offense, but i just let my emotions take control,and ask you fair or not for me. to think about it,i just want you to listen,and take it so that we could fix thing together to better us.i know how you feel when you found out yourself.i felt that before.my intentions is not to revenge,or to hurt you.but,when you knowing it,u felt the same things as i am,at that time.

BUT,i was just too late one step,i really do want to tell you this morning after woke up,just dint expect that you say it 1st,and evrything turn upside down.you said that im will keep on breaking promises.I was just about to tell you before you tell me.:( how could i explain better to you?i just late 1 text..:( i want to be honest with you,i want you to live with my honest-ness,and trust.its not the promises i want to keep sticking between you and me,i want love that bond us each other.

the reason i choose to write you this letter,is because i know,1st: call wouldn't work.2nd: text would just do worse.

i wrote to you,i want you to read carefully,why i acting that harsh,and i really sorry for that.i really do.

and for you,i want you to be my wife.i want to love you.and i am doing everthing right now,this moment,to fix this up,and get back holding hands together,and walk in the same path.i do believe you wanted this all as much as i am.

with full of humble,regretness,guilty,sorry,desperate,sadness,

I begging you,if i ever do brought hope,brought dream,brought joy to you,brought smile and happy.and if you really love me much more than i am,please come back to me.and walk in the same path together again.

I need you,I love you,I can't live without you.

please do not leave me alone. :(
abg mntk maaf,sygku...



i will wait for your positive answer.i will wait.

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is there anything something you hate about yourself?

is there anything something you hate about yourself?
-i hate when i cant do everything for you








i need you,so please don't go,my love...

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